Spirituality is all-inclusive, expanding into every aspect of life, because spirituality is the infusion of spirit into living life. Spirit is always there for us and a part of us, so how can anything be separate from that? It is only our minds that create the separation, from Ultimate Reality. Given this perspective, love and sexuality is the perfect topic to relate to the development of relationships and spiritual connection. We at Universe Spirit feel it is important to openly discuss and support the healthy integration of life, spirituality and sexuality.
The value of sexual expression in relation to spiritual laws has been controversial for eons. However, we have been provided with the gifts of biologically designed bodies that cannot only procreate life, but experience immense delight, enjoyment and energy in the process. There are many spiritually focused groups who do not recommend wasting life force energy in sexual activity, because if not practiced properly can drain the body of power and distract the mind, creating suffering and confusion. There are also many teachings, such as the Kama Sutra and Tantric traditions, which highly value sexuality and the practices of spiritual energy flow to increase the sacred connection with another person and Ultimate Reality. From these traditions, sexuality is a spiritual path of transformation, as powerful a tool as any.
It is the intention of Universe Spirit to provide you with the information, tools and resources to make the best decisions in your life, to enhance your relationships and experience of spiritual fulfillment. This information on sexuality is part of that offering, giving you the opportunity to integrate what feels true to you that supports your highest intentions.
1. The capacity to give and receive Love is a divine bestowal. It is a gift.
To Love, one has to be "open" to receiving that love. Receiving Love is an experience of happiness, because it is what our soul knows best. We came from love, and are continuously (consciously or unconsciously) in search of that experience. The process begins with having love for our self. When we have unconditional love for our self, receiving and giving love come naturally and without effort. This is what creates an opening. One cannot express freely or give openly when one is closed to the world, to other people, to one's true self, and to the divine.
Being open makes us vulnerable to receiving both the things that bring us joy and the things that make us sad. This can be frightening. The possibility of being hurt while one is expressing Love, in all its forms, is why people so often avoid relationships that are truly loving, whether this relationship is with other people, the world around them, or with Ultimate Reality.
Some people would describe this "openness" as empathy, humility, awe, absence of ego, the true self, innocence or wonderment. It is often all of these things. To cultivate any of these in our life, will begin the process of "opening" the heart to love for ourselves and everyone in our life.
2. Love is an energy. Think of a Loving relationship as an energy circuit.
One can have love for the self, but it is difficult for Love to be experienced in isolation. The expression is giving it and receiving it with others. Love flows energetically between people. Love flows between people and Ultimate Reality. When we give freely, openly and unconditionally of oneself it is considered love. This is also manifest in Ultimate Reality's relationship to us. It is the purest gift we can give another person. It is also the purest expression of ourselves that we can have towards the world and radiate out in all of our brilliance and glory of spiritual beings.
We can activate this within ourselves. We can activate this in other people by loving them. We thus actualize this benevolent "energy circuit" in the world around us, for the benefit of all and can access it anytime. This energy has a viral and cumulative effect. The more one Loves, the more one can - and will - receive Love from others.
Become conscious of the love you have to give to all and how much love there is in your relationships and life. By realizing the abundance of love you already have, it attracts more. Give your Love to all. Receive all Love from all.
The act of Loving is "paying forward" that which has been gifted to us, making the kind of difference we all strive for at the level of the soul.
3. Our sexuality is one of the many expressions of Love.
It is in this way that sexuality is a gift of Love, providing us with a way to express Love for our partners and reverence for the sacredness of life.
Sexuality serves a divine purpose of teaching us divine Love toward our eternal partner. Sex is not the end point; it is merely a stage in our expanded capacity for Love and our evolvement towards enlightenment.
In the human form we can enter what appear to be spiritual blockages that hinder our spiritual evolvement or enlightenment if we don’t have willingness to release them to Ultimate Reality. Similarly we can experience sexual blockages that can hinder us from fully loving in a sexual context.
The following questions are to help you establish whether being sexual with someone is currently appropriate or wise. Some of these questions can also indicate where blocks to healthy sexuality might be present:
- Do I have the intention to experience happiness in a sexual relationship?
- Do I have the intention of bringing happiness to my partner?
- Am I open to giving pleasure to my partner?
- Am I open to receiving pleasure from my partner?
- Am I empathic to my partner's state of mind and their needs?
- Am I in a state of wonderment and awe regarding what is about to occur?
- Am I aligned with the vibration of the ego with selfish intent, or am I about to give freely so that I may receive freely?
- Am I ready to promote a harmonious loving condition or do I prefer to be in battle with the opposite sex?
- Am I coming from a state of neediness that might misdirect me?
- Am I having sex because I feel a lack of love or am I having sex so that I can have a sacred experience of connection and truth in sexual energy
- Is the intention of my actions to have a benevolent and joyous effect on my partner?
- Does what I am about to do facilitate connection or separate us?
- Am I ready to take this step into sexual exploration?
- Am I willing to be surprised?
- Am I happy now, or am I seeking happiness by being here?
- Am I already in a state of loving kindness towards my partner or am creating a future expectation of its occurrence through the sexual act?
- Am I coming from a place of aloneness and what other things can support my feeling of connection?
- Am I ready to trust, surrender and let go into an experience without attachment to the outcome?
- Am I ready to move beyond relationship to total intimacy and deep mutual loving?
- Am I ready to let go of any seriousness and self-consciousness to fun and play?
- Am I ready to move beyond "tension release" to passion?
- Do I know the difference between sexual abuse and sexual healing?
- Am I living in the past or future or am I living fully in the now moment?
- Am I ready to leave shame behind so that I can celebrate in the acts of love?
- Am I falling in love or am I creating Love?
- Is being sexual now congruent with my current spiritual or cultural beliefs?
- Is being sexual now congruent with my partner's current spiritual or cultural beliefs?
- Have I discussed with my potential partner what sexuality means to me and what it signifies about the future of our relationship?
- Have I listened to what sexuality means to my potential partner and what it means for them about the future of our relationship?
- Are we being sexual in a way that is responsible toward each other's physical health?
- Are we being sexual in a way that is open and responsible toward the procreative life potentials that might be present?
- Is this an act of real consent or better yet, well informed consent between adults?
- Do either my partner or I feel that we are becoming sexual to quickly?
- Is there any kind of unfair power dynamic (acceptance, financial security, addiction of any kind, drug altered state, etc.,) unduly influencing one of the parties to be sexual where if the unfair power dynamic was not present they most likely would not want to be be sexual at that time?
4. When sexual harmony exists between two people, it maximizes creativity and productivity!
This relates to the essence of love as a condition of openness, innocence, gratefulness, humility and wonder in the face of our material and spiritual reality.
Creativity, in its highest form, is an emanation of the unconditional expression of love. There are endless revelations we discover from within us, and all around us, when we Love. This process opens the possibilities to creatively express that which is in alignment with Truth, Beauty and Goodness. The experience can be a
- Reflection of that which is inside ourselves, including love.
- Reflection that which we find outside ourselves.
- Creation of things, or doing actions, that extends Truth, Beauty and Goodness to people around us so that others might share in our joy.
Sexual harmony, as a reflection of spiritual harmony and has a benevolent effect on our lives.
5. Sexual disharmony is a toxin.
This takes many forms. Suppressed sexuality (loving) in one's physical partnership is a common form of disharmony. This can result in strong sexual fantasies and alternate activities away from one's partner that act as a misguided sexual (love) energy and "pressure relief."
The more a person is closed off to receiving or extending (spiritual) love - the more hunger increases for (physical) love. To satisfy the hunger of love through sex alone is not possible - since it is not connected with Ultimate Reality. This is defined as lust and is only a call to love.
There is many times the illusion of fulfillment in giving and taking personal gratification, yet the heart seeks nothing less than to lose itself absolutely in love and the experience is not long lasting.
There is a paradoxical nature to sex in that the same act can both liberate and imprison, depending upon one's intent, state of mind, and conditioning.
6. Affirm your sexuality and spirituality
- I am capable of loving
- I am ready, willing and able to receiving loving acts
- I intend to experience love in an intimate and sexual relationship
- Intend to love and respect myself, radiating the qualities of Ultimate Reality.
- a sin - (This is only the outcome of religious dogma attached to historically based perceptions. This area will need more discussion on when sex can become destructive or harmful.)
- shameful - (This has been an outcome of the suppression of our sexual nature, keeping us disempowered)
- meaningless – (The is a manifestation of the Ego, as every sexual encounter has meaning infused into the act, it is only our perception that is belief based which clouds the value to be received from)
8. Develop and nurture a healthy sexuality.
Immerse yourself in spiritual teachings relative to spiritually uplifted sexuality and sexual energy. Learn about the theories of healthy interaction and find your highest truth. Set intentions to experience healthy sexuality and take actions that become apparent for your own growth in this area, as each person is at different phases of evolution in their sexual growth.
This is a position paper in progress. There are many areas yet to be added to it dealing honestly with areas such as sexual orientation issues, sexuality and health, essential sexual education for adults and children, the effects of individual sexual choices on the interests of society and sexuality, pornography and legal issues. We hope to add these areas soon with your help…